Dear Beb,
This is probably one of the hardest letters I have ever had to write. I stared at a blank screen for over half an hour, not really knowing what to say, much less how to say it.
Just a few hours ago, we decided to break up. We both thought we were better off apart, that there were things about us that were irreconcileable - lifestyles and values that were not aligned, plans that were incongruent, limitations that neither of us could surpass. But we knew this had to happen and we decided to break it off two weeks into our relationship.
It pains me that despite our status, we still have so much love and affection for each other. I remember it took us all day yesterday to say goodbye. Buckets of tears fell before we were able to let go of each other. The truth was neither of us really wanted to break it off, but the circumstances and the awareness that this was not the perfect time for us pulled us apart. We knew it was inevitable.
Beb, I am so sorry I could not be the man you need now. I am sorry, too, that I could not give you the assurance that I will be. No, you were not asking me to change or give up anything, in fact, you loved and accepted me the way I am. But by staying with you or by asking you to stay, I am unintentionally asking you to give up the values you have so faithfully held on to and change the plans you have so carefully laid for yourself. I will never let anyone do that for me, eventhough I knew you would because you loved me, but that will be unfair.
But I have no regrets. The two weeks that we spent together were the most enchanting two weeks I have had in recent memory. The best part about it is that I felt from you the most genuine appreciation of who I was. You saw my value, and you valued me as if I were the most important (and most beautiful) person in the world. You did not express your love with mere words. You showed your love and made me see, feel and taste it. It was real. It was palpable. And it was sincere.
I got reactions like, "It was that quick?" and "That's that?" But you know, Beb, I will not trade the two special weeks we had together for anything. I would choose two short meaningful weeks with you anytime over four long years with someone else. You have made your mark. You will always be, to me, the Beb that loved me with all his heart, with all his mind, and with all his soul. Quality of time, Beb, that is still your most wonderful gift.
You have a most kind heart, and you will bless many people with your kindest intentions, your gentlest demeanor, and your humblest service. Go be a Ray of Light. Go do what you were born to do. Follow your calling. Follow your heart.
I will definitely miss you. But I hope to see you again several years down the road and find that maybe then the timing will be perfect for us. Things never stay the same, you know. Our lives are constantly shaped and reshaped by circumstances. Change is ever-present. It is inevitable. And it is always good.
Know that I will always love you my bebe.
Glenn