Tuesday, August 28, 2007


Dear Beb,

This is probably one of the hardest letters I have ever had to write. I stared at a blank screen for over half an hour, not really knowing what to say, much less how to say it.

Just a few hours ago, we decided to break up. We both thought we were better off apart, that there were things about us that were irreconcileable - lifestyles and values that were not aligned, plans that were incongruent, limitations that neither of us could surpass. But we knew this had to happen and we decided to break it off two weeks into our relationship.

It pains me that despite our status, we still have so much love and affection for each other. I remember it took us all day yesterday to say goodbye. Buckets of tears fell before we were able to let go of each other. The truth was neither of us really wanted to break it off, but the circumstances and the awareness that this was not the perfect time for us pulled us apart. We knew it was inevitable.

Beb, I am so sorry I could not be the man you need now. I am sorry, too, that I could not give you the assurance that I will be. No, you were not asking me to change or give up anything, in fact, you loved and accepted me the way I am. But by staying with you or by asking you to stay, I am unintentionally asking you to give up the values you have so faithfully held on to and change the plans you have so carefully laid for yourself. I will never let anyone do that for me, eventhough I knew you would because you loved me, but that will be unfair.

But I have no regrets. The two weeks that we spent together were the most enchanting two weeks I have had in recent memory. The best part about it is that I felt from you the most genuine appreciation of who I was. You saw my value, and you valued me as if I were the most important (and most beautiful) person in the world. You did not express your love with mere words. You showed your love and made me see, feel and taste it. It was real. It was palpable. And it was sincere.

I got reactions like, "It was that quick?" and "That's that?" But you know, Beb, I will not trade the two special weeks we had together for anything. I would choose two short meaningful weeks with you anytime over four long years with someone else. You have made your mark. You will always be, to me, the Beb that loved me with all his heart, with all his mind, and with all his soul. Quality of time, Beb, that is still your most wonderful gift.

You have a most kind heart, and you will bless many people with your kindest intentions, your gentlest demeanor, and your humblest service. Go be a Ray of Light. Go do what you were born to do. Follow your calling. Follow your heart.

I will definitely miss you. But I hope to see you again several years down the road and find that maybe then the timing will be perfect for us. Things never stay the same, you know. Our lives are constantly shaped and reshaped by circumstances. Change is ever-present. It is inevitable. And it is always good.

Know that I will always love you my bebe.



  1. hey! that's a story i want to hear. what happened? and to the witches...WALA AKONG KINALAMAN DYAN HA! i never put a spell on these two to breakup, promise! baka si PAIGE pa noh. wahahahha. im sure si paige yan! siya ang may kinalaman!
    anyways, im a bit sad. i met him and he was okay. he was just all over leo, but he was kind, mukhang sincere, mukhang super loving. ako din, i won't regret meeting ray --- hehe. as if friends kami noh. so leo wyatt, m with you all the way. whatever your next plan is, whatever your next adventure will be. =)

  2. Friend, thank you for appreciating him. He is a great person and had only the best in mind for me and for us. And thank you for the boost. You are true to your character and namesake, Piper, the voice of reason and the most maternal Halliwell. I am glad and feel secure that I am in good company.

  3. now i can finally put into words my empathy...

    haven't met ray... doen't know you well enough too with regards to how you handle relationships.... but i had faith... i rejoice when you guys are happy... which is why i am saddened... because no matter how strong we are. a break up always always takes a piece of our heart...

    but as we all know, some things just really have to happen... we make choices too...

    it is perhaps what i call... self-preservation...

    let's leave it to Love and Faith again... either it is rekindled or a new one blossoms... until then, let there be joy in solitude...

    blessed be Leo... blessed be...

    @ piper> are you sure wala kang kinalaman? hahaha! okay... you don't seem guilty... pero pwede bang i-cast off na ang spell... baka ako sumunod na tamaan eh... hahaha!

    @ leo> pahabol... let me just comment ha... piper is indeed the voice of reason but i am the most maternal and protective among the sisters... well, at least when i was still alive..... hahaha... naku... come to think of it, prue dies first... hahaha!

  4. sige na nga...

    Speaking of dying...

    Ok ba maging bakla?...

    I quite think so. I think it’s part of the human evolution. You are turning into androgynous aliens!
    No, seriously… everyone’s turning into hermaphrodites! And evolution is doing its job perfectly. populationwise.

    I’m not saying I want to be part of this progression… but… hmmmm…

    …I (still) don’t want to lose my BET.BLOG!

  5. Mr. Darklighter, don't worry about your bet.blog so much. We won't take it. And yes, it's fun to be gay. Try it for a day and you'll know how fun it is.

    Prue, I stand corrected on the maternal instincts thing. Yes, you are the most maternal. And yes, you get to die first. Hahaha! If you don't get your sore eyes medicated immediately, it will kill you. Bwahahaha! But seriously, thank you for feeling this with me. I am leaving this to Faith and Love in the meantime.

  6. @ betblog> and yes... i so agree with our whitelighter... hoy apilado... your betblog is all yours... bwahahaha! and oh...another yes... evolution is perfectly doing it's job but it seems to have forgotten one being... ikaw! bwahaha! perhaps... hindi pa alam ng universe ang gagawin sa 'yo... hahaha!

    then again, i'll give you one... thanks for appreciating our existence... still, no worries... nobody thinks you want to be part of the progression... after all, even if you so want to join, you're not welcome to queer world...hahaha!

    @ leo> let that be my "brutal na lambing" sa darklighter... hahaha! kambyo! kambyo!

  7. and by the way betblog... ganda ng segue mo ha... maybe i'm overly reacting or nagpapaka-analytical lang ha... pero ikaw ha... ganda tlga ng segue mo ha... "speaking of dying"... "ok ba maging bakla?"... hahaha! betblog mo dalawa dilaw... bwahaha!


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The Chronicler's Creed

Where there's water and sun, where there are friends to see or new people to meet, where there's something new to learn, experience, or do, where there's life, there I will be.


Y fue a esa edad... Llegó la poesía
a buscarme. No sé, no sé de dónde
salió, de invierno o río.
No sé cómo ni cuándo,
no, no eran voces, no eran
palabras, ni silencio,
pero desde una calle me llamaba,
desde las ramas de la noche,
de pronto entre los otros,
entre fuegos violentos
o regresando solo,
allí estaba sin rostro
y me tocaba.

And it was at that age... Poetry arrived
in search of me. I do not know, I do not know where
it came from, from winter or a river.
I do not know how or when,
no, they were not voices, they were not
words, nor silence,
but from a street I was summoned,
from the branches of night,
abruptly from the others,
among violent fires
or returning alone,
there I was without a face
and it touched me.

- An excerpt from LA POESÍA (Poetry) by Pablo Neruda